J-Film #8 - 'Love in the Time of Cholera'

Theres allot to be covered in this issue of J-film. This films is rather nice as it happens and thus as you can probably tell by the title is a love film, which to be good of-course requires it also be deep and thought provoking. Well, here I am required to say in-fact this is not a petty chick-flick about love - as i have already shown by calling it deep and thought provoking - It carries some brilliant and subtle under and over-tones about life and happiness , where-as it becomes apparent the title is slightly mis-leading, the letters o and v should be neatly replaced with i and f. But then you have the even more obtrusively misleading title 'Life in the Time of Cholera' To competently title this film you would have to remove the last 5 words.

The film effortlessly implements the above plots and deep intricacies in a wonderful manner, and is complemented by an amazing cast, lead by the constantly extraordinary Javier Bardem, who, as ever develops the plot into something heart-felt and genuine. As he interacts with the rest of the cast upon the backdrop of a heart-warming and (to say it again) deep story, magic is made. So, very positive, but why was no-one else in the screen with us, admiring this piece of art? The answer, they were all watching 'Meet the Spartans', truly a reflection of the overly bureaucratic and capitalist time and place in which we live, highly publicized and highly crap is the way modern, stupid and ignorant society likes it. However instead of attempting in vain to fix this, I shall attempt to bring more of the film to light to you, who hopefully, will appreciate my efforts.

'Love in the Time of Cholera' uses no overdone or special film effects, and instead attempts to bring the story and the brilliant acting to the fore, and shows everything necessary and well done in the best of lights, along with the easily forgettable but effective shooting, come Shakira, yes, thats right, she performs brilliant and original music which super-imposes upon the the multiple layers of shining brilliance, and forms the most perfect and warming sheet of MDF ever, oh dear I'm good.

Of course, no film (accept 'The cottage') is perfect and as I have been criticized for having too positive reviews I will endeavor to bring to light some of its bad points; firstly: it is drawn out to an unknown, but possibly infinitely long run time (I didn't check the time, as in my hurry to get to the cinema, I forgot to take my phone, watch or underwear) The points, which were undoubtedly good, could have been put into a more rounded, shorter film, whereupon they would be easier to digest. Secondly there are some slight continuity errors involving the change of actors with age, which are hardly worth going into to; and on a tertiary note, this is not a film for the sort of people that would be sitting in the cinemas at [miscellaneous time] in the morning watching Spartans laugh at Britney Spears. However if you truly appreciate the modern art from that is Cinema then this film is for you, shame about the absence of Flamethrowers though...

Join me and my surpassing and godlike wit next issue whereupon I shall be reviewing, if not 'Meet the Spartans' (just to wonder at its crapiness)... a film, yeah I'm not sure as the Cineworld website is fucking me about and pretending to be hard like Quentin Tarantino (not that his films are bad, mind you, oh God please don't sue me.)

Rundown -

Shooting: 7

Characterization: 9

Soundtrack: 9

Plot: 8

Effects: 7

Variable field dependent on context and genre - not being a chick-flick: 10

Overall J-score: 7.5/10

If there is anything you would like little Johnny to know do not hesitate to email me at Johnny.neicho@sky.com (I'm, serious, why does nobody ever want to talk to me!?)