Friday, March 14, 2008

J-Film #6 - 'The Cottage'

well, I am a bit lost for words to be perfectly honest, cinemas has hit a high point, this is quite possibly the best thing to happen to the universe since the wheel, this film my friends is perfect.

First of all, wait, hang on, there is no 'first' this is the greatest horo-com ever, its aspects blend into a melody so thick and juicy, Jesus would have trouble changing its composition, The shooting techniques are the best the civilized universe has ever or will have ever seen, the soundtrack fits like a glove to the brilliant, artistic gore blended with entirely side splitting comedy moments.

Thats it... What can I say, it the best film I have ever seen, ever, if you can find anything better I'll give you my legs;and if you don't like it I'll take your whole families... but thats beside the point. The point is, this film is made of pure win, there is nothing it doesn't do flawlessly, It has the most delectable mixed of horror and comedy, that mixes your emotion in such a manner, you are easily tripped between open laughter and jumping out your seat in laughter, if you don't see this, you will not have lived, is here a point of a rundown? There certainly no point in writing anymore, short and sweet, keeps it neat. I write all my reviews to match the films and this one is no different, pure artistic fun; nothing more and nothing less than pure perfection.

Next time ill probably be J-filming the most probably shit 10,000 BC or something or other, look forward to it whatever it is and SEE THIS FUCKING FILM! Oh and did i mention it's British?

Rundown -

Shooting: 10

Characterization: 10

Soundtrack: 10

Plot: 10

Effects: 10

Variable field dependent on context and genre - Horo-com mix: 10

Overall J-score: 10/10 J-FILM MUST SEE (fuck must see, this is more J-fucking must see)

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1 comment:

John "J-snukk" Neicho said...

Fucking hell next time I'm gonna write this in word so it makes my I's capitals for me...