J-Film #3 - 'Rambo'

Well, hello guys, before I start digging into the lovely meat of the film I would like to commend Javaguy on such a witty piece of satirical literature, Everything he says about me is true, he indeed knows me very well, so congratulations Java, very, very well done. With that out the way time for 'Rambo'.

'Rambo' is a gory film, in-fact it borders on genocide and the kill rate could be compared to the holocaust and this makes it highly unsuitable for children, wimps and people who don't like people being shot, also it has allot of murder, torture and rape with the added bonus of footage of real Burmese atrocities. so, lovely you are thinking sarcastically and you would probably be thinking right, DO NOT SEE THIS IF THE IDEA OF RAMBO DEALING VERY STRICT REVENGE ON SAVAGES, WITH THEIR SAVAGERY BEING DEPICTED IN DETAIL. On the other hand, if like me, you are a sick demented bastard who likes to watch chavs be stabbed in the kidneys repeatedly while screaming in in-human agony, this my friend, is the film for you.

The story is basic Rambo, set in Burma and thats about it, the most important thing about this film has been its superior action. The first thing worth pointing out on this front, would be that of the ballistics and the way they blow stuff apart. Now, i was fortunate enough to have an ex-soldier sitting next to me in the cinema, who upon the first scene was amazed at just how realistic bullet sounds, effects and wounds were, and this is an actual quote "Wow, I'm gonna start ducking in a minute!" 'Nuff said.

Now, don't get me wrong the very idea of Rambo is corny, but this film has NO cheesy lines that make you grimace and the few breaks in the action take nothing away from this short but tense piece of art, the pace is fast visually eloquent and elegant, and the visceral adrenaline rush you feel as yet another cardboard cut out rapist is blown to pieces with a 50. cal machine gun, is nothing but truly awe inspiring and when i say blown to pieces i mean blown to pieces. assorted anatomical components fly thick and furiously in this utterly amazing chunk of brilliant cinema, the music blares out as AK47's churn out slug after slug and a barrette 50. cal blows Burmese soldiers 50 feet down the road and there really is nothing to fault, seriously, this is like Yahtzee's review of portal, this is a mute review, 'Rambo' is good, very, very good.

The structure is wonderful as well, The Burmese are built up so evilly it's in-human AND THIS JUST EXACERBATES YOU INSATIABLE BLOOD-LUST, YOU WANT THESE PEOPLE KILLED SO BADLY YOU ARE WILLING TO DISMEMBER GHANDI TO GET JUSTICE!!!! Sorry i shouldn't have go t so pumped there, my legs are still shaking from the adrenaline thats how good this film really is, shame there was only two flamethrowers though...

If you can be bothered to look however there are small American allegories popping up everywhere, but i didn't eve notice till my hate fulled Dad pointed them out, so, the best way to think of the film upon entering is a 90 minute chunk of American action and the American's are great and just appreciate this superb rage filled adventure for what it is; and thats why this small negative paragraph is stuck right on the bottom, it is insignificant, to a very great degree. see this film NOW.

Rundown -

Shooting: 8

Characterization: 9

Soundtrack: 7

Plot: 7

Effects: 10

Variable field dependent on context and genre - YES, YES KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER NOW!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEES! - 10

Overall J-score: 9/10 J-FILM MUST SEE

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